ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
