apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
