i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can I color on your dick again?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize