just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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