I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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