I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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