I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
