Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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