Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it because I queefed?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
