Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
