Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
