I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
