He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
