also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize