New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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