We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
