she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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