Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got inside last night via doggy door
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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