im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
