Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize