so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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