you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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