I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i came on her dog
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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