Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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