come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He kissed a someone with a penis
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Drake has all the answers
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
