I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
