i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
