How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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