How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
