My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How external is "for external use only"?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
