worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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