i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
not ubering you a puppy
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
