careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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