just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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