North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
