Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He kissed a someone with a penis
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
