i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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