her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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