just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
