how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
