the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
