i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So squirting runs in the family.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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