Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Randomize