I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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