I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
