And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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