Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
