Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
