Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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