We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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