Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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