whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I bet he comes in French.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
