Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
