that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
and she was petting her beer can
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
