Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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