I think I won the penis lottery.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize